Five things this barista wants you to know...

This June marked nine years of working for Starbucks.  As someone who didn’t think that they’d last a week there, I honestly consider this a massive achievement.  I have learned so much about myself since becoming a partner, especially in regards to what I’m capable of and how to handle conflicts.  This journey has had its ups and downs, but all in all, Starbucks has treated me very well.
As with any corporation, the biggest issues arise from people higher on the pay scale not understanding how things “at the bottom” work.  I like to picture some big corporate suit walking into one of our stores and asking a barista, “What can we, as a company, do to help you?”
The barista replies, “We need more people on the floor.  Can we hire more people and ​have more labor hours?”
Nodding and scratching their chin, the suit says, “What I’m hearing is you want us to update the sequencing of drinks so you now make three at a time rather than two and you want a free reusable cup.”  
The barista stares blankly at them and asserts, “That is not at all what I said.”  
But it’s too late; corporate has already thrown thousands of dollars at some lackey who is going to study the partners efficiency and see how they can make their employees do more with less.  The gifted cup will come with stickers!  Won’t that be fun?!
While my time with the siren is about to end, I have picked up a few tips along the way.  Not tips for the employees, mind you.  No, these are tips for you…the consumer.  
I would say that ninety percent of the people who have come into one of my stores have been lovely and friendly individuals, but – ooh-weee!! – that remaining ten percent (especially at drive-thru stores.  This is not to shame drive-thru stores or people to use them.  Drive-thru stores are amazing for people with small children, social anxiety, certain mobility needs, etc.  But there’s a certain kind of crazy that doesn’t want to get out of its car to get its coffee.  And it’s usually the kind of crazy that insults the employees or throws hot drinks at them.)
To help steer people away from joining that ten percent group, I’ve created this simple list of things everyone can do to help their baristas out and make the process go a little smoother.  Yes, this is taken from the standpoint of Starbucks, but many of these points apply to any coffee shop.  Let’s begin!

1. Give yourself more time than you think you need.
   

The thing about any coffee shop is that the length of time it will take to get your order ready will always be a crapshoot.  You may be able to usually receive your order in a certain amount of time, but things come up: the blender might break down, a barista may have called out, maybe someone ahead of you placed a massive twenty-drink order.  Be prepared for the unexpected.  If you think you can get in and get your coffee in five minutes, you’re probably wrong.  At the very least, this isn’t going to happen every time, and it isn’t the barista’s fault.  That’s just life.  Things come up, and you might have to be flexible.  
Oh, and full disclosure: when you tell us that you’re “running late”, we don’t care.  We aren’t going to move your drink to the front of the line.  If you’re running late, don’t stop for coffee.  It’s as simple as that.

1. Get off your phone. 
   

People generally dislike it when we mess up your order which is why we are trained to ask a lot of questions.  You come up to the register and order a latte?  Well, I’m going to ask what size, hot or iced, is two percent milk alright, is there anything else I can do for you, how are we paying for this today, do you want a receipt, and so on.  That’s a lot of questions, but we’d rather get all the info at the register rather than have to go back once the drink is made and start over again.
You can help us out by paying attention, and (hands down) the biggest distraction we see is the cellphone.  Contrary to popular belief, baristas are not telepathic.  If you want almond milk in that mocha, then you have to tell us.  If you didn’t want that banana bread warmed up, then you have to tell us.  We try our best to ask questions, but help us out…and more importantly, don’t get upset with us when we ask questions.  I’m not grilling you for information on how you like your frappuccino because I enjoy bothering you or because I’m trying to lower your defenses so you join my cult; I just need to know what you want so we can avoid wasting time.  
Please get off your phone and tell me clearly what you want.  If you don’t know, I am happy to answer questions and guide you towards what you’re looking for, but no matter how dexterous you think your mind is, you cannot simultaneously focus on the drama going on with your friend Becky and order an iced Tall quad shot shaken espresso, no classic syrup, sub five pumps hazelnut and two pumps sugar-free vanilla, light ice, chocolate cream cold foam, lightly sprinkled with cinnamon powder, in a Grande cup.  

1. The barista is probably not flirting with you. 
   

    I’m not going to spend too much time on this one.  It should be self-explanatory.  
Just know that it’s our job to make you feel welcomed and comfortable, but that does not mean that we want to sleep with you.  I did not really experience sexual harassment until I became a barista and then suddenly I had a flock of men (usually old and white) talking about my “pretty little lips” or asking if I wanted to share a scone with them or reaching across the counter and grabbing my arm to tell me that my skin is very soft.  (Thankfully, my current boss is incredibly good at nipping any of that stuff in the bud and has a strict no tolerance policy for customers making partners feel unsafe or uncomfortable.  Thanks, Char!)
Stop.  I am not your toy.  I am just a person doing a job and trying to make a living.  Yes, I do enjoy welcoming you to this third space and even establishing friendly relationships with anyone who comes in, but customer service me is not the real me.  I am not trying to flirt with you, I don’t want you to flirt with me, and I will tell you when you cross a line.  

1. I do not care if you mispronounce things.
   

I also do not care if you get the names of the sizes incorrect.  Let’s just admit that the sizing at Starbucks is awful.  The whole thing started because once upon a time, they only offered the sizes Short (8oz) or Tall (12oz) and while that’s easy to remember, Starbucks just kept adding sizes up because, ya know, America.  At one point in time, the Grande was considered extra large and then they added Venti before finally adding Trenta.  What we’re left with is a lot of people assuming that the biggest size we have is a Tall and then getting disappointed when they’re large frappuccino is so tiny.  (Honestly, I personally prefer it if you simply say small, medium, or large.  At least then I know that we’re speaking the same language.) 
So many of the terms used are Italian or at least Italian-derived and most Americans do not speak Italian.  If you call it a “grand mach-yee-otto”, I will understand what you mean.  As someone who spent years being afraid to order a sauvignon blanc because I knew that I wasn’t pronouncing it correctly, I get the instinct to try and “speak the language”, but just know that no one is going to laugh at you.  And if they do, then you tell their store manager.  
Furthermore, don’t be afraid to ask us questions.  We are here to help you figure out what exactly that one drink was…you know, the one your sister got for your last time (“I just remember that it was hot and it tasted like caramel.”  Hey, I can work with that!) I don’t mind people asking questions; what I do mind is when people complain about having to wait in line but then get up to the register and only then think about what they want to order.  Get your life together, Karen.  

1. Read the room.
   

Picture it: you’re waiting for your drink.  You’ve been waiting maybe five minutes.  You think to yourself, “Why is this taking so long?”  And then you decide that you’re going to march up to the handoff plane or (God forbid) crane your neck over the glass partitions in front of the bar and demand to know why you don’t have your drinks yet.  
Stop.  Look around.  Are other people waiting?  Are the baristas running around crazily?  Is there a line of drinks on the counter?  How many people are at the bar?  During peak, there should be at least two (hopefully more if it’s very busy).  Is one person running the register and the oven?  Is there a pile of dishes laying off to the side?  Is an employee yelling something like, “I need peppermint syrup on the fly?!”  If you’re in a drive-thru, is there a line of cars behind you?
If you answered yes to any of the questions above, the store is probably very busy.  And, being very busy, there are going to be some longer wait times.  I have worked primarily in a cafe store (meaning no drive thru), and our general rule is that we want people to be waiting ten minutes at the absolute most.  Check your watch and ask yourself, “Have I been waiting longer than ten minutes?”  If it’s very busy and the answer is no, then take a seat and calm down.  (And, no, that ten minutes does not start when you walk in.  It starts when you finish paying and your order goes through.  See #1 if you have questions.)  
The amount of people who go into a rage because they had to (dramatic gasp) wait, is stifling.  Take a look around and have some pity on the people making your coffee. 
If you truly feel that something is unacceptable (be it wait times, a barista’s attitude, etc.), the best thing you can do is email or call the store manager or the district manager.  Stores should have business cards with contact information for both of these individuals.  Said cards are usually located at the hand-off plane but not necessarily.  Before you start yelling at the twenty-two-year-old who has been awake since 4am and is doing the best they can, contact someone higher up and complain to them.  I know that it isn’t as cathartic (you maniac) as screaming in the middle of a Starbucks and getting up on some proverbial soapbox about how “no one wants to work anymore”, but you’re going to get better results if you express your frustration to the people who actually have a say in things like labor hours.  

All in all, friends, assume the best in others and have patience.  If you can do both of these things, you’ll get your drink and us baristas won’t have to run to the backroom in tears.  At the end of the day, it’s just coffee.  Is this really the hill you want to die on?  I didn’t think so.  

---