Theatre companies be like...
We want your play. Send us your play. We are dying for your play. We'd love to have it as part of our One-Act Festival. We will die if you do not send us your script. We will literally die if we can't use your work.
Good. We've got you hooked. We do accept snail mail submissions but make sure it is postmarked by yesterday and that no signature is required for delivery. We need three copies of your script...one without your name or any identifying factors on it, one with your name and all identifying factors on it, and one with your LAST name and page number on every other page (beginning with page 3). Please check out the Dramatists Guild Modern Play Formatting. Your script should follow these guidelines. Any script that doesn't get the margins just right is subject to automatic disqualification.
We accept any genre and are open to any topics except controversial and naughty stuff like gay marriage, heterosexual marriage, divorce, nuns, sex, politics, where babies come from, how babies come from there, cats, dogs, ferrets, The Duggars, nudity, off-color humor (we define that) or anything else generally unpleasant to talk about. (How about a good kids show?)
Please include a cover letter talking about how much you LOVE our theatre company and what we do. Tell us exactly WHY we should produce your work and what's really in it for us. Please send us pictures from previous produced works (if you don't have any previously produced works, well, sucks to be you, don't it?) Please send us your theatrical resume. Please send us your profession resume. Please send us one of your kidneys. All scripts should be unproduced. We mean it. Like only you and Jesus know that this script exists. No staged reading. No workshopping. Nothing. We mean it.
If you do decide to send us the script via internet, make sure the copies of your script are all PDF's. Any script sent as a Word document is subject to automatic disqualifications.
Our theme this year is "Bad haircuts on steroid-injected sumo wrestlers...in Russia". Good luck with that one.
We say that the deadline for submissions is June 1st and we will have a decision made by June 15th, but who the hell really knows? One of our favorite past times is sitting back and watching you squirm. It's a power trip. We're a theatre company. We don't get a lot of that usually.
Oh, and for the love of God, only send us one script!